Saturday, May 18, 2013

The Memeing of Life #1

"I herd you the first time."
An internet whimsy by Andrew Girardin

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Asterix in Corsica: Latin Jokes Explained

A bigger, better version of this article now appears on my new Asterix site - click the white link just above this article. The one that says 'Everything Asterix'.

I understand it's annoying to be directed here and have to go there, but I promise it's worth it.

The new site is extremely beautiful, by the way. It's probably going to win an award and be preserved by UNESCO.

The difference between this cramped, stuffy blog and that luxury site is the same as when you sell your one-bedroom flat in London and buy a six-bedroom villa anywhere else in the country. The furniture is better, the air is clearer, and you can stroll around your garden smelling flowers and sighing contentedly.


Tuesday, May 07, 2013

Dressaged to Kill

I just came home from a trip to England where my girlfriend was researching whether to buy a mechanical horse. She could use it to teach riding when the weather is bad, or if zombies eat all the real horses.

It looks like this:

"So what do you think?" I asked her after she'd tried it out.
"It's great!" she said. "I'm enthusiastic. But I might ask for one or two modifications."
"I know exactly what you mean."

BEHOLD - the robot horse of the future... TODAY

* Laser eyes powerful enough to melt shoes
* Front mounted rockets (stirrup-activated)
* Robot legs
* Side panels squirt squid ink or release tyre-popping tacks to cause traffic mayhem (ink sold separately)
* Satellite dish blocks enemy transmissions; gets sports channels
* Mace tail pulverizes enemy faces

"That's not exactly what I had in mind," said Jen. "I just wanted it in pink."